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Old 01-24-2014, 07:45 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by WCoaster View Post
What I have gleaned is it is good to let someone I date know that I see other people. I have a better understanding now that I could discuss with my current partners what I am OK with them sharing about me to others and what I am not OK with. Then it is up to them to manage their other relationships as they see fit.
There is another side to the equation you are missing - and that is the amount of information any of your partners wants to hear. You might start dating someone who just doesn't want to know anything about anyone else, other than that you see other people. Or you could find someone who asks a zillion questions and wants to meet your partner. See, it's not just about what you and your current girlfriend want to share - it's also about what each and every person either of you get involved with wants to share and hear.

I mention that because there was a passage in your initial post that stood out to me:
Originally Posted by WCoaster View Post
We both identify as polyamorous and have begun to refer to each other as "primary" as we are both looking for a very special solid relationship foundation to explore from.

We are currently communicating about anything we can think of that we feel needs to be dissected to help our mutual journey's thrive to the best of our abilities.
The fact that you mention being each other's primaries, along with the parts I bolded, seem to indicate that you might be looking at this as a Couple Plus Extras. Yes, it's great that you want a strong foundation, which is absolutely necessary, but what about anyone else either of you "explore" - like a project? And you mention wanting you and your current girlfriend's "journeys" in poly to thrive, but what about the other people? They will need to thrive on their journeys with you, too. So, I encourage you to not look at this so much through a lens of "Us Plus" but just remember that you are both two individuals in a relationship who also want to have other relationships, and realize that the people you meet and develop relationships with are just as important and deserve just as much respect and consideration as you have for each other. Recognize that each relationship will develop and grow in its own way and have its own dynamic unique to the people in it.

So, there really can't be any one blanket statement about how much or what to share with anyone, because it will depend on what they want as well as what you want.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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Last edited by nycindie; 01-24-2014 at 08:49 AM.
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