Polyamory is totally working for us!!!
So this is what the polyamourous lifestyle is all about! One of the things that is difficult for people to realize is that there is no one set way to do it.
This is how we are doing it. Richard has three girlfriends besides me. One of them is his ex wife -they were married for one year when they were about 20 years old. This is an LDR so they only get to spend time together maybe once or twice a year.
The other one is a Spanish speaking girlfriend that he has had for a while and they lack the ability to communicate since he doesn't speak Spanish and she doesn't speak English but they seem to be able to communicate in their own way.
The third woman is someone he has recently met and she is into the "friends with benefits" mentality. Apparently the last guy she was with was very possessive so she needs a little bit more freedom from that. Which makes her a good partner for him since she lives right where he lives during the week. She invited him over for dinner tonight so that is where he is at right now.
I am really excited about the new guy that I have met and am anticipating spending time with him next week! Polyamory is a new concept for him but he seems to be in the right place in his life to be able to embrace it. Because I like to hear about Richard's sexual experiences with his women, I offered my new guy a chance to hear about my sexual experiences with Richard. It took him a few days to process this and we were able to talk about it a few days later.
Come to find out -he felt that he would rather be with me rather than hearing about me being with Richard. I get that -but I explained compersion to him and encouraged him to start tapping into that energetic pattern.
It has been 4 years since I was formally introduced to the idea of polyamory. I am happy with the way everything is working out for me and for Richard. It is not that often that I meet someone that I really connect with mentally so this guy is cool and I am feeling a bit of NRE for the first time in quite a few years.
I have a nice profile with a really good photo gallery on a swinger site and I have met a lot of awesome people through that sight. A few weeks ago I was contacted by this guy that (because of life circumstances) finds himself completely free. He is an absolute pleasure to be with and a pleasure to talk to! We will be spending a week together next week! The awesome part of it is that Richard is so supportive of this relationship!
We are living this lifestyle the way that we want to live it. There needn't be any judgement from anyone about how someone else lives a poly lifestyle. Richard and I are actually getting closer and thinking about building a house together in the future. The way that this lifestyle is working out for the two of us makes me feel more comfortable committing to sharing a household with him.
We have hit a few little speed bumps on the way but nothing major has come up for us. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he would have four girlfriends at one time. But he is a natural at it and he loves it. He is an emotional guy so it has taken him awhile to relax and not feel that he has to worry about everybody. The main issue that he has dealt with is that the girl friends become possessive and want to own him. In the very beginning of every relationship he lets the women know that he is not going to engage in a monogamous relationship with them- So when they become possessive and start asking or expecting that -he is able to remind them about their initial conversations. And all of the conversations continue throughout the relationship -sometimes women are listening but not listening if you know what I mean.
So I just wanted to share this with everybody because we have had way more positive experiences since we entered this lifestyle than we have had negative experiences.
I contribute this to a variety of things:
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Be in touch with what you want and what you don't want.
Stay true to that.
Be authentic and live in the moment.
All of that is resting on a foundation of emotional health which has been achieved by therapy and other self awareness endeavors.
Be always ready and willing to work on your own emotional wellbeing and growth.
That's it for now and I welcome comments and/or questions!
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.