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Old 04-07-2010, 12:58 PM
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ladyjools ladyjools is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 175

I didn't have time to read what everyone else has said so only skimmed through
but wanted to let you know that I can understand what you mean in regards to the issues around the past i have some very serious abuse in my past and it can be really difficult for me to trust someone sexually, it also leaves me with a whole load of issues, disoisation, attachment, fear or abandonment,

i have 2 partners, both of who are very patiant and understanding
when my first partner and myself decided to go poly it did turn our lifes upside down and it felt like its all we where talking about, however, few years down the line and life is pretty normal again, we have dinner, watch moives together and talk about everyday things as well as having time for other comunication around polyamory,

and more importantly I can see him go off to see his other girlfriend and feel truelly happy for him, i trust him completly that he loves me and that he loves her and that we are not in compitition, that took sometime to really sink it but it was possible

its taken me sometime to trust my newer partner around my abuse issues, but he is very patiant and i find its extreemly helpful to have another person to talk too and also to see that yes i can enjoy intamicy and sex with someone else and that i am worth being loved. Being poly has helped me grow and understand what my past has left me with now and put some of those feelings to rest, i have a long way to go, i still have a disosiative disorder and i prob always will but I can honestly say that im happy,

so i just wanted to let you know that it is possible, it just takes a bit of time,

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