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Old 01-22-2014, 06:04 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,223
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Welcome!

I don't take kindly to lies or lies of omission. So I suggest you be on guard against that sort of "less than honest behavior" and tread carefully. At best he is clueless UGH, at worst he is creepy dude UGH. UGH for you either way -- so determine how much (if any!) UGH you want to deal in.

Quote:
But he did come out and tell me and i think that should show something. maybe?
I am not impressed. To suddenly revert to doing basic truths after lying? Just shoes me you ARE capabale of doing it. You choose to do it when serves your purpose rather than choosing to just be doing it consistently.

Could note it is possible he's still here trying to get cookies he wants from you, and just changing his tactics. When "Bait and switch" isn't seeming to work, now he could be going for "look! You inspire me to truthiness! With you at my side, I can become even better!" to keep charming you along.

Beware flattery when you feel uncertain. If it isn't a joyful yes for you, it is not a joyful yes for YOU. Could call it NO.

To me? You do not seem certain about him, so could just skip him. "Thanks for the sex share, no thanks on the "polyshipping" with you and your wife. Bye!" No UGH for you of any flavor.

People are not "diamonds in the rough" that you have to shape. You could choose to be with already well shaped people of character.

If it pleased you to share sex that time, great. No problem there.

At this time...
  • If his company no longer pleases you because you discover he's Mr Less Than Truthy and you are not up for that? You could dump him.
  • If you want to give him another shot --- and reassess later? That's up to you. ( I would not, but I am not you. "Lying" is one of my dealbeakers.)

Ethical polyshipping with honest people can lead to many rewarding experiences. But "polyshipping" in less than honest encounters with less than honest people in less than ethical ways -- just leads to more shenanigans, IMHO, because it does not begin on strong foundation. Build on shaky ground, expect shake ups. I don't like those, I steer clear.

I am sorry he was less than respectful and honest with you. That is very poor behavior on his part and does not inspire confidence in him being a good polypartner. You deserve much better than that -- and could seek it out! You seem to want to so go for it!

If you want to practice polyshipping, you can do it ethically and from a more informed place on your own without that guy. Could branch out on your own and seek better quality partners to practice polyshipping with.

You could expect to be invited to participate in open models up front and honestly. Figure out what models appeal to you. Do your OWN inviting up front and honest.

So good for you in seeking info! You haven't done anything wrong. Get the info you seek. Maybe these hub pages help -- there are others.

Links:

http://www.practicalpolyamory.com/do...documents.html
http://www.kathylabriola.com/articles
http://www.serolynne.com/polyamory.htm
http://www.morethantwo.com/
http://openingup.net/resources/free-...om-opening-up/

Ultimately you are responsible for YOU. You are responsible for your health and well being. You are responsible for your "willing and able" and the things you choose to participate in or not. You are responsible for choosing the company you keep.

At no time do you have to do things you do NOT want to do, are not willing to do, are not able to do or are uncertain about doing. You can withdraw your willingness to participate any time you want. Anyone telling you otherwise is super FRESH! Kick 'em to the curb and lose their company.

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 01-22-2014 at 06:56 PM.
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