I just want to thank everyone for all the great thoughtful advice. It is exactly what I had hoped for. Lot's to work on still but I think we are up to it.
I especially found the use of "Could" in my dialogue and thought processes to be so helpful. I could do a lot things but there are always options.
Thank you for the thoughtful alternative perspectives to ponder.
I do honestly believe that potential new partners need to know that there are actual relationships in place at some point. I also think that bridge should be crossed fairly early on. It is an integrity thing. I do not think it is right to lead someone along because you may interested in each other but they are proceeding in their process with out a full understanding of the way of things.
Complete honesty and open dialogue could be shared with everyone in our lives if our words and actions are going to affect their decisions.
I think that me wanting my partner to say I am something extra special is wrong thinking and I will figure that one out. I feel that it probably causes an unnecessary burden on the new relationship but so does denying or obscuring the facts.
Anyway thanks again and thanks for the links.