Originally Posted by Mya
I'm really trying to get to a peaceful place where I don't care what happens. Take everything as it comes. Trust that everything will turn out like it should in the end. Where it's not the end of the world if things change. Where I will adapt to all new situations. Where feelings are just weather that will pass.
This is a good goal, whenever dealing with difficult emotions. However, I think it won't happen at once. These kind of intermediary steps are probably vital, where you let yourself feel the ugly without beating yourself up about it.
I think it's definitely good that you're processing these emotions even though nothing is happening between me and Hank. I really admire and value your determination to face it and grow, that is awesome about you.
And sure, there's also the selfish reasons why it's good, in case this kind of situation does some day actually come up concretely. However, I think there might be benefits to the fact that since nothing's going on now (either between Hank and I or between any other people this would be applicable to), you have the space to think about this without any additional pressure/complications that might be there otherwise, where you might feel like you need to get over it really quickly and panic and all that, which might not actually be very helpful for processing it all. And also, it's probably easier for your partners to support you with this, too, when it's not relating to an actual situation. At least I know it is for me, since I'm not fighting my own triggers (relating to feeling like I have to defend my personal freedom/autonomy). So, I'll try to be there for you better, too, now that I'm getting the picture of how difficult this is for you (not that I haven't believed you before, but it helps for me to understand to read such honest, uncensored text about your feelings).