I'm really trying to get to a peaceful place where I don't care what happens. Take everything as it comes. Trust that everything will turn out like it should in the end. Where it's not the end of the world if things change. Where I will adapt to all new situations. Where feelings are just weather that will pass.
It's fucking hard, you guys. I feel like my head is trying to convince my heart and my heart is just yelling "NO!". I don't want to be this person. I loathe myself right now for having these strong feelings that I can't seem to change, at least quickly enough. Who do I think I am thinking I could tell other people what to do with their love lives? I have no right, and I'm not going to.
I am having trouble breathing calmly right now.
Me: bi female in my 30's
Partners: Hank, Dahlia and Fay
Metamours: Eddie (Dahlia's long-term partner)
Living with Hank, Dahlia, Eddie and rory (my ex/friend)