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Old 01-20-2014, 06:47 AM
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fuchka fuchka is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 391
Default My friends, my friends

So many posts from me today, I wonder what I'm procrastinating from

Actually, I think it's just that I've finally got around to catching up on correspondence, blogging here, and various other scrivenings.

I've been thinking directly about friendship these days. Some thoughts triggered by listening to Theme Time Radio Hour: Friends & Neighbours by Bob Dylan. Do I understand what friendship means? My experience of friendship has been a plethora of looser connections, rather than a few, close friends. I certainly have friendships that run deep, friends I've tethered rafts with through rough waters, but I couldn't point to many that are "best friends". And I don't have a circle of friends as such; most of my friends don't know each other very well.

I try to be open to new people, hospitable to travellers, and be ever conscious of how I might be prejudiced against or deprioritise the needs of someone just because they are unfamiliar to me. This tendency, to have a heart for all, can sometimes stop me from truly appreciating the friendship connections that are precious to me. The friendships I treasure in my life.

I should make time for those friends the way I make time for lovers, because they are like lovers to me. We share a potent intimacy, even if there is no sexual aspect.

The other night, I had a "date" with a close friend, who lives overseas. We chatted online and he said he was making ambrosia. He also said that he'd finally watched a movie I had recommended to him years ago ('The Fall' - which, by the way, is one of the most visually stunning movies I have seen in my life. And I liked the story too.) Anyway. As a reward, I told him that the next movie I watch will be one of his choosing. (He picked 'The Secret in Their Eyes', if you're curious). I also felt inspired to make ambrosia too... So we had parallel ambrosia, and I watched the film he'd picked.

I really think those moments of relating are as important to me, and as important to how I am and how I love, than anything I've written here about sexual partners.
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