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Old 01-19-2014, 07:25 PM
starlight1 starlight1 is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: London
Posts: 35
Smile Hello!

Hello everyone,
I started my journey into learning about polyamory through friends but not being sexually intimate with more than one person many many years ago, and now I am joining local support groups about poly, and trying to get more involved in the community.
I tried out online poly groups, and intermingling with them, and found out that people are real or as false online as inreallife, poly or monogamous. So instead, I stayed single for few years debating what I wanted to do next. I decided to try dating women first, as I am also bi, but found that although I could find people interested in their idea of poly, I didnt find a partner willing to allow me to love more than one person, so I went from one single fling to another, and a brief m m f triangle in real life where the men both said it was ok for me to date other men, and be with other men, but actually ended up not being very healthy as they were both actually monogamous themselves.
Now I am currently exclusive with a man who knows I'd like to have a female sexual relationship, but he doesnt yet understand that I'd like to be emotionally intimate with a woman the same way I am with him, and he views himself as monogamous. So since this relationship is going well, and the best relationship i've been in to date, I've decided to just keep it to a discussion level with him. :-) Especially since I don;t really know where I stand on the poly continuum. Anyways, i am an artist and single mother going to school, so i have my hands full with that right no anyway, and my life is peaceful and happy, and although i'd like a second boyfriend or girlfriend, i dont know how realistic it is for me in long term goals with everything else i'm juggling! But I have in the past successfully loved my ex-husband and a girl from my youth, although the one stayed platonic for respect of her wishes, she knew how i felt, but it juts never developed anywhere. Now she is happily married, and I have moved on, so as it goes... I had some random weird posts on here in the past, but most of that was online distant dating and I prefer the real world interactions now-a-days. And my life was a heck of a lot more complicated back then, there was a lot of internal confusion going on. Now I am just me, and pretty sure of what I want, just not really sure how it will turn out, how i'll achieve it. I had the opportunity this weekend coming up to go with my boyfriend and meet with a woman and have sex with her all together, but I dont want a threesome I want polyamory and I dont think he understands that yet, and so we need more discussion still at a later date face to face.

So I plan on being pretty active here now as it's a safe haven until I feel comfortable moving into the real world poly scene.
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