While, I am sure, can not entirely relate to what you are going though...my work-me and my real-me are, in fact, two separate entities as well.
My boys know what I do at work and support me in it (which, I think, is different from your situation), BUT I do try to shield them from it as much as I can. Sometimes, however, it spills over (I am only human after all - to do my job I must sometimes suppress the "feeling" parts of me...which then overflow at home, on occasion.)
Sorry to hear/read of your struggle.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
SLeW: platonic girlfriend + BFF
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.
My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe