Wow, I can't believe that it has already been almost two years since I wrote the above introduction and started participating here on poly.com (time sure flies
I thought I would resurrect my old "Introductions" thread to formally introduce the newest addition to our "polycule" - Lotus.
Our "co-habitating open-but-not-looking Poly Vee" continued to (mostly) quietly roll smoothly along as we let the dynamics grow and shift and expand as we discovered the "new normal" and NRE faded into the much more comfortable ERE that I enjoy so much.
About two years in (early last year) we decided that we were strong and stable enough to look into expanding our horizons. Over a period of months we all posted profiles on OKC. My intention was to find local bi-poly-married women to befriend for mutual conversation and support ("benefits" optional
). Dude was "looking for" another girlfriend. MrS signed up just to support us (so we all could link to each other's profiles) - AND to see how he "matched" with us by their algorithm (I think it tickled him that he was a one point better match for me than Dude was, no matter how many questions we all answered
As a result of my OKC profile I did have several interesting conversations and ended up attending a few Meet-Ups in the city (with one or the other of my boys, or by myself), which led to me attending a local kink event to "dip my toes in". I had a few fun, flirty experiences along the way.
As a result of Dude's profile he contacted and conversed with a LOT of women. Dude is persistent and can be very eloquent with the written word when he tries - I think his message-to-response ratio was way
higher than many guys are reporting. (I also proof-read his profile
). He went on a few dates, had a little sex, and THEN...enter Lotus.
Like me, she is a poly-bi-married woman - (married 8 years to TT). We also happen to be the same age (she is one month younger than I am) UNLIKE me, she is a sexy curvy kinky red-head
. She and Dude had only messaged back-and-forth a few times when he invited her to a concert we were all attending (along with a friend of ours). She accepted! (I thought she was so brave when we picked her up at her house and she got into a car with four "strangers" - three of whom were MEN). The rest, as they say, is history...
In a few weeks Dude and Lotus are "boyfriend/girlfriend" and within a few months she is entwined in our lives and a welcome member of our "nest". We have met and hung out with her husband, our dogs have been to each others houses, we have had "the conversations" that needed to happen - shared histories and test results, etc. (She's even met my parents
)Hit some speed-bumps and recovered.
By happy serendipity, I found my poly-bi-married female friendship I was looking for in Dude's girlfriend (For the curious: yes, "with benefits" - and then some!
) We've taken down our OKC profiles, and re-instated the "open-but-NOT-looking" for the center three (me/Dude/Lotus) of our new Poly-W - to allow the dynamic to settle and stabilize between all of us.
For another thread I created a diagram of our current polycule:
(I'm the purple dot!)
To continue to conversation about bed-sharing generated upstream...
Sometimes some combination of all of us meet up in the city, or at Lotus and TT's house. More often she comes down to our home and stays for a few days or a weekend. (She lives about an hour away).
Four in a bed is not a problem (especially when 3 of them are "cuddlers" -and our schedules still are staggered). Usually we sleep MFMF but occasionally we end up MFFM (if Lotus and I go to bed before the boys - apparently our "entwining" is hard to untangle).
MrS almost always gets "his"edge, and sleeps next to me, who has been trained over the last 21 years to NOT overly cuddle him. (Interesting side story - one night, when it was just the three of us, the boys ended up on the wrong sides of the bed - Dude could NOT get me to cuddle him AT ALL and I just about cuddled MrS OUT of bed).
One morning, after a MFFM sleeping night, after I had already left for work, Lotus found herself inches from a sleeping MrS...she said that she was "this
" close to given him a cuddle...but she wasn't sure how appropriate/welcome that would have been...oh, the dilemmas
! (For the record - we all agree that would have been appropriate and MrS confirms that it would NOT have been unwelcome. (She admits to having a little crush on him - and he, like me and Dude, thinks that she is fantastic.)
I love getting up in the morning while they are all sleeping and then kissing all these sweeties goodbye when I leave. Each one has a different reaction: MrS sighs contentedly - then keeps on snoring; Dude - hungry for physical affection, even in his sleep - insistently nuzzles for "more"; Lotus - the lightest sleeper in the bunch - slowly blinks her big eyes at me and smiles sleepily. What an excellent way to start my day!