I don't really see slut-shaming going on here, just different opinions and suggestions of how the hurt might be avoided. I've ben hurt like this too - you don't have to be physically intimate to be emotionally hurt by someone you're interested in & thinks is interested in you suddenly turning cold. I personally don't have sex before the second or third date, but that's because my experience is that I stop dating 80% of men before the 3rd date and don't usually want to fuck someone I wouldn't date. Personal preference. It's not a filter or a self protection mechanism. Simply a practical desire not to screw someone I ultimately would consider a waste of my time. Yeah, I know it sounds bitchy, but I reserve the right to be bitchy about who I'll have sex with. That said, I am very likely to have sex on the first date if he's a really good kisser. I'm a sucker for a good kisser. I don't think I or anyone else is a slut for giving into the same hormones a man has, and I don't get the impression that the other posters feel that way either.
Me - Mostly mono female, 39 yrs old, married to Leo.
Leo - Poly bi-sexual male, 37 years old. Married to me and looking.