I don't think anybody here was "slut-shaming" in the least. If you're going to have sex on the first date then get upset because the person you did it with doesn't call again, why do it to yourself? Waiting a bit before having sex doesn't make you any less sex-positive or gender-equal. If anyone here is "slut-shaming," others can be said to be "prude-shaming."
The OP behaved appropriately given her beliefs at the moment about herself and the guy she was with. Maybe she misjudged the guy, or perhaps he overestimated his level of interest in her. Would waiting a bit before introducing sex have alleviated some of the OP's confusion and pain? Who knows. Maybe after a second date, she would've picked up cues that he wasn't looking for more than a fling, or she might have felt more comfortable expressing her expectations. Or maybe he's the kind of guy who can spend weeks seducing someone just to dump them. There's no double-standard--women can and do behave this way too.
There's nothing wrong with admitting that the "soul" gets involved for some of us during sex. I know sometimes, sex is strictly a physiological, physical thing, fun, a way to blow of steam. But sex is also, for me, a profoundly vulnerable moment, and, boy, I do not hold back in bed. My wide-openess to the other person assures that for me, having sex WILL change things for me. Knowing this about myself is a good thing for everyone involved.
Don't sweat it, @LadyLigeia, I'd have felt hurt too. I hate rejection. Chin up.