Why does it matter if you sleep with someone, then find out they are an idiot? It isn't like you give a little bit of your soul to every guy you fuck.
Why is it better to have wasted x amount of time with them on platonic dates rather than have sex with them on the first date and find out they are an idiot?
It isn't intrinsically better for anyone. But it's better for women like the OP, who was upset enough by this very thing to create this thread. It would have been better for my friend's girlfriend, who was terribly upset by her "idiot." And I know it's better for me personally.
Some of us are emotionally wired so that getting naked makes us more emotionally vulnerable. We don't want to go into sexual situations with people who will treat us callously or cruelly, because being naked and vulnerable with them will give them more power to hurt us than if all we'd done was talk.
Others, clearly some of the posters here, are not wired that way, which gives them the ability to shrug off a one-night stand gone wrong and not give it another thought. Good for you all, but we don't all have that ability.
Female, married just about forever to Scout. My boyfriends are E. and C. Both are married, and C also has another lover, J.