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Old 01-17-2014, 01:54 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by scarletzinnia View Post
Nothing I said here "slut shamed" anyone. Not sleeping with someone right away is a FILTERING TOOL.
You may not have consciously meant it that way, but when someone says "I fucked this guy on a first date and then he turned out to be a jerk. What went wrong?" and the response is "Don't fuck guys right away anymore," how can that be construed as anything other than laying the blame for what happened on the woman who dared to act on her own sexual desire and get laid? That sure looked like slut-shaming to me. It says that the guy was not responsible for his own actions, and that if a chick fucks somebody right away and he acts like a bastard, it's her mistake, her fault.

Even your little story about that guy you and your friend both went out with supports that attitude. "I set boundaries and do not fuck on a first date, and therefore emerged unscathed, but my friend who fucked him on their first date was punished for it." Egad.

Originally Posted by InfinitePossibility View Post
The fastest way to spot them imo, is to sleep with new people very quickly. Preferably on the first date. The ones looking for a 'nice' girl bugger off at that point. The decent guys who are looking for a connection and also think that it's okay for women to like sex hang around.
I have also found this to be true. Thing is, if I want to fuck someone, I do it for me and because it is what I want in that moment. I don't delude myself into thinking a guy owes me a relationship because I fucked him.
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