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Old 01-17-2014, 01:44 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
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Ginger and I got to reconnect after him being down for several days with a bad cold. I wasn't ready to get right to the sex as we almost always do, as I needed to talk more about feelings, those darn feelings, around him being with Mischa and Buddhist. He told me he and Buddhist have a date set up for Sunday.

Once we got the talk out of the way, he was very affectionate and things got physical, I gradually was able to enjoy myself. Then cuddles in bed and chit chat about various things, then a second wind, more sex. It was all somewhat reassuring.

Another analogy I came up with around Ginger dating is: Ginger as the hub of a wheel with 5 spokes. He is in some sort of intimate and sexual relationship with 5 women! His wife R, me, miss p, Mischa and now Buddhist.

Five.

Spin the wheel and see whose turn it is today!

It's funny, with all the newbies that come here wanting a hot FMF triad, I am pretty much in one and not really loving it. I've accepted it.

Then add in 2 more new women... I have to force myself not to think about it sometimes, go do something so engrossing there is no space for thoughts.

Dialog with myself:

I feel so unstable.

But it's change, and life is change, and there is no use fighting it.

How can I adjust to this change?

2 options: overanalyze and obsess about it. Or, distract myself and let it take shape as it will, ride the wave on top like a surfer, don't drown in the choppy waters.

Ginger is coming over tonight (Friday) and seeing Buddhist on Sunday. He is driving in to Boston to her place. And this should be their first full on sex. Whooee. That's gonna be a hard day for me.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 61) loving Pixie (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
"Master," (mono, M, 36), Pixie's Dom for 3+ years
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