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Old 01-17-2014, 02:25 AM
Eponine Eponine is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 125

Originally Posted by Spock View Post
I can want as many best friends as I can imagine, a best friend on every floor of my building and every aisle of my floor and I would happily be poly.

However, the effort needed to cultivate said friendships is so high that I cannot really have more than one or two best friends.

So even if I can imagine how wonderful poly is, I can't envision accomplishing it; ergo, it is rare for me 'develop feelings', and therefore best friends, let alone loves or lovers.

Imagine something that is difficult and time consuming and hard to do, and now imagine doing it multiple times; that is poly to a mono person, or at least me.
To me, "I rarely develop feelings" doesn't necessarily equal "it's difficult and time-consuming for me to maintain relationships". I don't develop feelings as often as most people, but once I connect with a right person, maintaining a relationship is almost effortless because we're highly compatible (I don't develop feelings for people who don't share my core values and relationship views). So I can understand being mono because it takes too much effort to cultivate and maintain relationships, but I don't understand being mono because you rarely develop feelings. I guess it's probably not the only reason those people choose mono though.
Heteroromantic asexual female, sex-positive, childfree, relationship anarchist.
Married to G, and in a partially non-romantic, completely non-sexual and long-distance triad with A and L.

Last edited by Eponine; 01-17-2014 at 02:28 AM.
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