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Old 01-17-2014, 12:28 AM
OliverOwl OliverOwl is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 23
Question Partner is out on their first poly date . . .

I should probably start by sayig that my partner and I are in a mono/poly relationship (myself being the mono). We had a really rough introduction into poly that ended in a lot of hurt emotions for everyone involved. It's been a few months since that gong show and my partner K has grown a lot since then. At the onset he wasn't sure what he actually wanted from poly, he only knew that he was inloved with me and a former fling of his, S. Anyway, he had a hard time figuring out that he did not want co-primaries, he wanted her as a secondary, and I had a hard time overcoming some of my deeper insecurities. Still working on most of those but I'm finished my final semester at Uni now so having that stress removed has really helped.

After we had our last major blowup K and I remained a couple, he informed S that for as much as he wanted to be in a relationship with her, I was the "partner" in whatever sense you choose to take that and he would stay with me. We spent the next few months just talking about poly, learning as much as we could, and growing closer together. K and I have come out of it so much stronger as a couple. He still wants to be with S, and now I feel a lot more settled in letting that happen. The compresion isn't there yet, not even close, but I don't question his love for me anymore.

They're having their first date for a few months today, just meeting up to talk. I've spent most of the day preoccuping myself with other things and I know that he'll be really happy the mext time I see him, which does make me happy, but I'm just feeling . . . Off

I don't even know how to properly describe what it is I'm feeling.

What I'm actually trying to get at with this massive text wall is just to ask how other people (especially deal with other monos) deal with their partner starting to see a new person and handling the NRE.
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