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Old 01-16-2014, 04:06 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
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Well, it's been a while. Finally put "blog post" on my list of things to do (and finally remembered to look at my list when I got home), so here I am with a glass of Prosecco and the laptop after paying the bills. Yay, the glamorous life!

Let's see... the car is fixed (yay!), although the mechanic forgot what the car was there for and finally called me up the morning of the day I was going to pick it up and asked, "What's this car here for again?" <facepalm>

Still, he did a great job welding a new muffler strap on, charged only $40 for it, and I went back and got my inspection sticker for free, with one minor hiccup (had to wait til the next day, since they had to have the same guy inspect it, or it *wouldn't* have been for free).

NYC was nice. We found a place over AirBnB, which was tiny, probably the ugliest building in the neighborhood, but still a pretty nice neighborhood, so no complaints. We were happy to find it was within walking distance of the Trailer Park Lounge, and we gorged ourselves on horrible comfort food and drinks, then gave ourselves indigestion. Hello, New York! Overall, it was a nice trip (P found us a Burlesque show to see, and we had a great time), even with all the slush puddles everywhere. One hiccup - when we were walking back from the Burly show (intending to wander about and then hit White Castle, because, you know, White Castle), and P launched into this conversation about how M1's been doing great about the Facebook stuff and how we should all get together and talk about it again and blablablablabla...

And it just pulled me right out of the nice walk we were having, pulled me out of the "P and me" trip, and... boo. Yes, it's a good idea, but I was enjoying our "just us" weekend. The whole "let's talk about Facebook" thing felt like an intrusion. He noticed that I clammed up, I said it was probably best to leave the conversation until AFTER the trip, he thought I was pissed at him, I said no, and then we found things to take pictures of ("Hey, isn't that the Flatiron Building?! How'd we get HERE?") and forgot about it all. Groovy.

Lots of food, beer (Heartland Brewery was serving their Bavarian Black Lager, which I ADORE - and the logo is kinda fun too - so we picked up a growler of it... omnomnom), and just fun. Until Monday, when we decided to head into the Bryant Park area (holds some special meaning for us) and get breakfast. Came out to a pretty hard rain, so no walking around the park, but... wait... IS THAT A BOOT ON YOUR CAR?

Okay, there was an f-bomb in there somewhere. At least one.

*Sigh*

A not-so-happy hike to the impound lot to pay the boot fine, then a slightly-better-mood hike back to get the car. Boot fine plus ticket = $300 for parking that day. Oh, and the $15 I paid for the meter, not realizing it was COMMERCIAL METERED parking. Hooray for vague signs. Not.

Eff you, New York. From now on, we're taking the bus.

So the trip was good. P and I had some good conversations about the "partner" thing and other stuff. No real epiphanies or resolutions, but it's good to talk about where we are in our own head spaces.



In other news...

P has a protective streak, which is kinda sweet, but annoying. I don't like to be protected unless there's a bear or an axe murderer coming after me. I will appreciate the protective streak in those cases. When my kids demand my time after a weekend I was away? No. I don't appreciate it then. I get downright pissy. Apparently, so does P when my kids get all "Mom? Mom? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy come here! The cat farted! Come see!" and I go in to see.

And then I think that maybe this is how a hinge feels, trying to balance time with multiple partners (where my issue is balancing time with the kids versus time with P). I'd like to integrate them more, but my oldest daughter is still pretty standoffish with P, and he likes to separate himself and not interrupt their time with me when he's here.

It gives me a new perspective on where he's coming from, in a way.
Interesting to think about, and to find myself in that position.



In other other news...
I seem to be back in high school.

I blogged a while ago about a party for a friend's husband that went horribly wrong. This was back when P, M1, and I were still new at this, and I had no idea how things would go at a nighttime, adults-only party where we all attended together. I said, "Let's see how it goes."

BAD. IDEA.

I felt snubbed, felt that P gave M1 much more attention, and I lost it. So did he. The resulting fight (not near the main party, thankfully) was a horrible mess, not helped by the alcohol consumed before the late-arriving food. Oops.

Lots of communication mishaps (I texted P, "Can we talk?" - he got up, walked right past me without looking, and went into the house. I was FURIOUS. Come to find out, M1 had his phone. He hadn't seen the text at all, and went inside to pee. THAT was the level of miscommunication that was happening that night), leading to a fight, and a very awkward scene for my friend R, as she fielded questions from her friends ("He's with her AND her? Nuh-UH! Why does she let that happen? She deserves SO much better!").

Basically, P and M1 were both villainized that night. R felt overwhelmed by it all and asked P that if he is coming to an event at her house, that he not be there with the both of us. She didn't want to exclude anyone, but she didn't want EVERYONE.

P was upset. M1 was upset. I wasn't - R had been in my life since 6th grade and was practically a sister to me. I understood where she was coming from (she was put on the spot with no idea what to do, and I don't think it was right of us to put her in that position) and just let it be for a while. P is now rekindling a friendship with her. M1 hasn't spoken to her since, I don't believe.

So, now that the backstory is complete...
A mutual friend is having a girls' night out. Without me and R. Our friend LB unwittingly asked us if we were going, assuming we were invited, and we went, "What?" LB asked the organizer why we weren't on the list, and the "bad blood" thing came out, along with "well, I don't get invited to their events anyway".

Okay...
Personally? I don't care. Organizer is close to M1 and she's a grownup. She can pick her friends and hang out with whomever she wants.

R is worried that she's the cause of my not being invited, and was worried I'd be upset with her (nope - don't care).

And we haven't HAD events, so at the same time, I'm feeling sad for Organizer, because she's getting hurt about being excluded from events that aren't happening.

And then P gets wound up and in in his protective mode, and yells at me that M1 had better not get blamed for all this.

For all WHAT? I don't care. R doesn't care (just doesn't want me to be pissed at HER), and LB is all like "What?" In fact, a good thing came out of all this, since R and I realized we hadn't seen LB in a while and made dinner plans with her.

Jeesh.

Seriously, though - if this is the only crap I'm dealing with right now, then life is good. Bring on the Prosecco.

Time to see if I annihilated that character limit... hope everyone is doing well! Later!
__________________
Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids, two cats, one house with many projects.
Chops (previously 'P'): My partner of ~3 years. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena (previously M1): Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa (previously AG): Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

My navel-gazing blog thread:
A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
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