It was a choice. Like I told our marriage counsellor, "I am not wired or predisposed to do anything relating to poly." My upbringing had nothing to do with my polyamorist tendencies. I dipped into poly when I was a teenager. If I had never met my ex, I would have been in a mono marriage because I was never going to seek another relationship. We have been married almost 12 years and not once did I ever date or feel any attraction towards anyone but him or her. She is out of the picture, and he is still the only one I want to be with.
SC made some valid points, and her post resonates within me and where I am today. There is a difference between the two. Case and point. I love more than one person right now, so I suppose I could be classified as having polyamorous feelings. However, I do not want to practise polyamory or be romantically involved. I have opted not to act on said feelings towards her. With that understanding in place, she knows there will never be a romantic relationship between us.
If I had some predisposed "need" for poly, it is being met simply by me acknowledging that there are romantic feelings for someone outside of my DH.
Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...
Matt (Hubby) - The once distant stranger that I complement beautifully. DH of 13 years and father of our four children.