Originally Posted by Eponine
Completely agree with what SchrodingersCat said.
Yeah, me too. I don't need to have multiple relationships, but it's a non-negotiable that any relationship of mine has to be poly.
I've heard some mono people say they're mono because it's rare for them to develop feelings for even one person, let alone more than one at the same time. That reason doesn't make sense to me at all. No matter how rarely I'm attracted to people, a mono relationship would still be denying my autonomy.
It makes sense if you've never had the context of poly, though.
If you think of a relationship like moving to a new city, where you have to build a new internal map of the area, create a time-wise map of the traffic patterns, locate new places to eat and shop and hang out, meet new people to do the above with, get a new job, a new place to live, etc, then a mono person might be like that:
1) Want to find a new apartment rarely (so that the overhead cost is minimized)
2) Move to a new city rarely (so that some retained information can be reused)
3) Move states once in their whole life (so that laws, taxes, registrations, etc don't have to be relearned)
4) Don't even want to get a new job more than once every 10 years
Where a poly person would be:
1) I move to a new apartment every six months when my lease is up
2) I move to a new city every year because I love exploring
3) Move states every other year when a new job is in a different state
4) Go out of my way to look for jobs in different states so I can try new things, find new place, meet new people
Whether I end up having multiple partners or not isn't important, but I need to know I'm free to love whomever I want.
That's exactly the same as a mono person, the difference being that the mono person has picked exactly one person to love at a time, I think.