Just for the record, I relate to your need for an intellectual connection as well.
It is the bane of scenario runners - myself included - to "what if" yourself to death. Kind of sounds like that is what you are doing. I have learned I can make myself miserable with the habit, and need to stop and take stock of the here and now. Is everything okay in the here and now? That is where we all actually live. Past no longer exists and the future always becomes the now.
(And yes, it is easy to justify the scenario running as a method to head off or prepare for problems - but it can also create them where none exist.)
As to your general feelings of insecurity - let me tell you everyone has insecurities. It is not the having them that is the issue; it is how you choose to handle them that is telling.
I doubt that your new poly gf expects you to be a poly-whiz on your first venture with it and neither should you. (Bit of a perfectionist, are we?). Cut yourself some slack. If she has her act together as it sounds like she does, ask her questions, get her philosophy on it. And of course keep studying yourself and chatting here.
Last edited by bookbug; 01-14-2014 at 01:09 PM.
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