Originally Posted by kamala
I have tried hard not to foil myself against monogamous people, and say that I stand for everything they don’t, and they are unenlightened in some way, even though I must admit in my weaker moments I have sometimes felt that. For example, trying to explain my choices to a less than receptive friend
But overall I think I pretty much agree that… well, people are different.
Similarly I think I've found myself doing something similar sometimes when having to explain myself to the few friends who don't seem to understand why my wife and I would be choosing the route we have. Or just in passing philosophical conversations. I expect that sometimes it's almost more about convincing myself than convincing them.
The funny part about that too is that my wife and I were quite happily monogamous. I certainly understand many of the arguments poly v. mono involving infidelity rates, one true love myths, etc.
But the fact for me is that I have no reason to believe that my marriage would have suffered from infidelity, and I have always been very happy with the one woman I chose to marry, and have never found myself wanting for love, affection, companionship, or anything else that I couldn't find in regular platonic friends within a mono framework. We very well could have been the exception that mono's could use as a counterpoint to the poly argument that one-person-can't-be-all-things...at least enough so that additional romances needn't be necessary.
However...poly, or mono, I expect my wife and I don't fall into the 'typical' category for either. I think we could have succeeded quite happily as mono's even against the odds,... and have consciously chosen the path we're on now (Which would be why I find it useful to justify our actions...because if poly no longer made sense, we'd have to reevaluate our path).
Other's mileage will certainly vary...