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Old 04-06-2010, 08:12 PM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,018

Originally Posted by kamala View Post
I have tried hard not to foil myself against monogamous people, and say that I stand for everything they don’t, and they are unenlightened in some way, even though I must admit in my weaker moments I have sometimes felt that. For example, trying to explain my choices to a less than receptive friend But overall I think I pretty much agree that… well, people are different.
Similarly I think I've found myself doing something similar sometimes when having to explain myself to the few friends who don't seem to understand why my wife and I would be choosing the route we have. Or just in passing philosophical conversations. I expect that sometimes it's almost more about convincing myself than convincing them.

The funny part about that too is that my wife and I were quite happily monogamous. I certainly understand many of the arguments poly v. mono involving infidelity rates, one true love myths, etc.
But the fact for me is that I have no reason to believe that my marriage would have suffered from infidelity, and I have always been very happy with the one woman I chose to marry, and have never found myself wanting for love, affection, companionship, or anything else that I couldn't find in regular platonic friends within a mono framework. We very well could have been the exception that mono's could use as a counterpoint to the poly argument that one-person-can' least enough so that additional romances needn't be necessary.

However...poly, or mono, I expect my wife and I don't fall into the 'typical' category for either. I think we could have succeeded quite happily as mono's even against the odds,... and have consciously chosen the path we're on now (Which would be why I find it useful to justify our actions...because if poly no longer made sense, we'd have to reevaluate our path).

Other's mileage will certainly vary...
“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” - Chinese Proverb

-Imaginary Illusion

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