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Old 04-06-2010, 08:10 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Right off the top of my head this initially reminded me of something written on xeromag

http://www.xeromag.com/fvpolymyths.html

I think the quote is shortsighted and, while likely based on some reality, is generalizing peoples viewpoints. I am not cynical about monogamy at all. I know friends who have done quite well. My parents were happily together over 20 before my father passed away. I have seen it work....and fail. My uncle was a serial mono at the best of times, a cheater at the worst and could easily be labelled a free love hippy swinger. He would still be that way if his heart wasn't broken from being single in his 60's and realizing his player days are behind him.

I come from a background of cynicism and debate. As with anything *I* expect, I would never want someone to ram monogamy down my throat, and in turn I don't do the same. Most of my friends and some of my family know I am in an open relationship. That is easier to explain then poly. Some have asked further questions which I explain. I let them decide for themselves. I hope they know me well enough to let me be me...because I return that favour

Quote:
Are polyamorists just less generous when they come to assessing the human capacity for devotion to just one? Does that jeapordize the spirit of plurality and openness that I’ve seen on these boards…?
I am devoted to my wife...it doesn't mean I can't find someone else to also be devoted to. Heck I am devoted to anyone I care to call a friend. I don't think devotion is monoscentric

Quote:
Do you think that people that have been hurt, or cheated on/betrayed or themselves done the cheating and betraying, are those people more likely to turn to polyamory as a sort of resignation to this less than ideal part of human nature? Or were you all well functioning monogamists who decided to move forward to polyamory as something positive, something expansive?
I am sure there are people that turn to polyamory as a method to their infidelity. They REALLY want to cheat, but don't want to cheat and fall in line with poly.

I guess the easiest answer to this question is I haven't been monogamous since I left my first common-law wife at 22. I have also never cheated. I just decided after her I would never tie myself to one person so exclusively. When I dated, I tended to ask hard questions of the women I was interested in...I laid everything on the table that I believe a date interested in me needed to know...
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