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Old 01-12-2014, 11:14 AM
InfinitePossibility InfinitePossibility is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 651

You don't seem like a mess at all. Just a person like the rest of us who's looking to live the best life that they can.

Originally Posted by bofish View Post
I keep thinking I should tell my kid not to make friends until he is 40! I made friends very early and have kept them for a long time and what I know now that I didn't is how profoundly I would shift. How unhealthy my early relationships were.
I'm not convinced that us as individuals changing is what makes relationships unhealthy. I would guess that the unhealthy relationships have always been that way and that the change in you is what made you see that.

I have several very long term relationships - lasting since childhood and they are all healthy. For sure all of us have changed over the years and so have our friendships but these people are all good for me to be around and fun to spend time with. I wouldn't be without them.

Originally Posted by bofish View Post
But I did pick my husband! I have been thinking that over a lot. The relationship is flawed -as many are - but he's a pretty unconditional loving person and really there for me. When I chose him, I knew all this. I also knew that due to this there was a lack of a strong sexual attraction.
I'm interested in your statement that because your husband is a loving, kind person, you would lack sexual attraction for him?

Maybe that's something to explore further? I find myself more attracted to kind, loving people not less. I have no desire for sexual or any other kind of relationship with people who are not that way.
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