Thanks Snowbunny! Well, I know a lot more now than I did earlier and it doesn't make it any easier. Turns out that I get 90% - 100% of the affection. I feel very loved right now too. He did get some RRE but only in the first month or so. She said, "If he could touch me the way you touch me..." He tries too, but she says she just can't get in the mood for him. I didn't know it was like that. She feels guilty about it but I no longer do as that dynamic predates my involvement with her. I emphasized the fact that loving her means I also care deeply about the people she cares about.
Meanwhile, he continues to enable us. Four hours with her this afternoon, his idea. Skipping some details for the sake of privacy here but he invited himself along for a visit and they are both coming over later. I totally agree that the three of us should spend time together. The idea is awkward but in fact, it's just being honest with each other. There's nothing hidden and it's not the first time we've all gotten together (5th or 6th time) but it will be the first time I welcome him into my house.
Thanks again for all the insights! And Kevin, it's all positive. Too good to be true.