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Old 01-11-2014, 05:29 PM
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ColorsWolf ColorsWolf is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: CA, U.S.A.
Posts: 360

Originally Posted by InfinitePossibility View Post
Wow - of course your views on sex are up to you. I feel a bit sad for you, though. How limiting for you. Ethical, consensual sexual expression between people has a vast capacity for variety. I see beauty in that. Also freedom.

I was single and didn't have sex with other people for years. I don't like casual sex and I didn't want to get into a relationship - I had other things to do with my life. I was blissfully and intentionally single for 7 years. I did, however, have a varied and fulfilling sex life with somebody I love very much - myself.

I have a partner now and I'm very glad that he has a similar view on sex as a very broad activity - something that makes me very happy. I quite like penetrative sex but it's not my favourite way of having sex and I'm pleased to have a male partner who sees things that way.

On a broader, slightly political point, I dislike that we are as a society so fixated on penetrative sex between men and women as being the only way to properly have sex. I think it's broadly limiting. It allows denial that 2 people of the same gender can have sex with each other. Sex between women then becomes mysterious and not talked about. Something to be suspicious of - leaving the door open for bullying and intimidation.

The damage may be less obvious for heterosexual men and women but I think it's just as bad. Many people go through their lives believing that if they don't have a partner they can't have a good sex life - leading some folk to go through a lifetime of unfulfilling or traumatic romantic relationships. Or feeling sad, lonely and not good enough if they are unable to find somebody to have a romantic relationship with.

Even people with partners. Some men have problems with erectile dysfunction at various times in their life. For anybody who feels that penetrative sex is the only way to have sex, that's got to be traumatic. This article goes into it in some detail.

This ongoing believe about penetrative sex being more 'properly' sex than other forms of sex is incredibly damaging for lots of people. I think it encourages people to be in relationships that they'd be better of not being in - lots and lots of them. I think it opens the door to abuse for anybody who is unable to have 'proper' sex with their partner. I also think that it destroys intimacy between people who have an expectation of being able to have 'proper' sex.

I'd very much like to see people free themselves from what is very limiting belief.
I personally don't 'define my sexuality', I understand that many people want to do that to feel a sense of 'community' and things 'in common or sharing with others', but I don't think you need to 'label' your sexuality to do that.~

The same thing with polyamory, I don't call what I do 'polyamory', why should I label any thing?~

The same for 'nudism', I don't call myself a 'nudist', why should I label accepting myself?~ I was not born with 'clothes', they are things I 'put-on' and I 'take-off', I take off my 'clothes' and I am simply me.~

Labeling: That only makes me feel constricted and confined by some kind of invisible metaphoric 'box'.~

I am just me, I like what I like, I don't like what I don't like, and I am who I am.~
Love yourself, you are beautiful!~ ^_^

*Believe in yourself, you can do anything*!~ ^_^

Appreciate every thing, every thing is precious.~

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