So if you're not married, and it's no big deal for YOU, then why the confrontational, opposing viewpoint? It seems a bit holier-than-thou. Some people do have legitimate reasons to not disclose their relationships. Some, who aren't in the military, but who have morality clauses (teachers, maybe), don't want to lose their livelihoods and put their family in that kind of risk.
So you don't have to hide it. I don't really HAVE to, either. I'm not getting persecuted, arrested, or beaten up. But some people have real reasons for not disclosing. Mine's more not wanting to deal with potential fallout from people I care about, but if it comes out, it comes out and I'll deal with it.
The cautionary tales don't refer to every person in a poly relationship. I don't think that claim was ever made.
Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 14; and PokéGirl, 11), two cats, one house, many projects.
My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).
Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk