Originally Posted by london
I'll be honest and say that I've definitely spoken out about what I see as red flags in certain types of poly, but I've never saw them as "not poly". And yeah, I've spoken out against the type of poly you seem to practice going by what you said, but my argument isn't anything to do with that arrangement not being poly more about why I think some people gravitate towards it. But that's off topic here.
Long story short, if you have or have the potential of consensually obtaining and maintaining more than one loving union at a time in your relationship style, and you want to be poly, you're poly. Nothing to do with how much sex you have, who you have that sex with and under what conditions. Just about the potential of multiple, simultaneous loving relationships.
That isn't what you said originally; what you said was "People who feel this way believe that monogamy is the ideal. They believe that a monogamous template for relationships is the only way to achieve "real" commitment. The absence of monogamy inherently negates commitment, in their mind, and they strive to compensate for that imagined deficit in their polyamorous relationships with "tools" such as couple privilege, unicorn hunting, controlling their partner's relationships, sex negativity and just about everything else I hate about polyamory. "
ALL people. Not some. To be fair, I see very few who are capable of handling the integrated type of poly, but please do not put ALL of us in the same blanket statement. Not ALL of us gravitate towards it for the bullshit reasons you stated, so kindly do not make those judgments.