I like the idea of opening up the discussion to all three. That way youre giving her a chance to defend herself while not letting her off the hook.
Ultimately this is going to come to a head whether you tell him or not. Others are driving this issue. I would do what is in service of the relationship. What is the most caring thing to do for him?
The comment is certainly anti-semetic. Period. Even if thats been her "experience" she hasnt dated ALL Jewish men. And while there may be an element of gossip involved, if your kink community is as importsnt to you as mine has been at certain periods in the past, you need to address it. If its too high school for you then just rise above.
Again, I like the group email.
Best of luck.
Last edited by vanquish; 01-09-2014 at 08:19 PM.