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Old 01-09-2014, 07:55 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 519
Default Defining

Originally Posted by CuriouslyPoly View Post
In my opinion, V-types are probably a chain of open relationships and not really poly ones. Fine, some of you can call them networks to encompass the whole chain of people involved, but I think V-type polyamorous relationships are a's just part of a chain of open relationships.
It's funny, I kind of struggle with the concept of open relationship vs. poly. It's hard, because poly is not really well known. So people come up with their own ideas of what "poly" is. To me, this is the difference: "Open" is when you have a couple who is allowed to date/play outside the relationship. "Poly" is when you start truly building and maintaining two ore more significant relationships. So long as it's really centered around the couple, it's not really poly, in my mind.

But either (open and poly) could be found in BOTH structures (integrated, triad types or chains of vees). For example, if my boyfriend and I both date this other girl, but she doesn't really get a say in the relationship, and I'm the primary and she isn't, well, that's open to me. Not poly. On the other hand, if my boyfriend has a serious girlfriend and I have a serious boyfriend (two "vees" or an "N"), and both of us are allowed to pursue the relationship to its fullest (perhaps she and I end up both meaning the same to him, and her needs matter just as much as mine), then that's poly. My boyfriend might date others...his girlfriend might date others, which case, I guess they are in both poly and open relationships. But I wouldn't consider my boyfriend and I to be in an "open" relationship. I'd consider us to be poly.

Does that make sense?
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