Nothing like a break up to make you realize that there's work to do in another relationship. I had no idea that the way I was going to react to breaking up with my boyfriend was to all of a sudden realize that there are things that I really need to be dealing with with my husband. Now at the moment none of this is end of the world type stuff but it did catch me really off guard. I'm feeling much better (and sleeping well again) since we've started talking though. It comes down to I need my husband to feel better about himself. His self esteem issues are really wearing on me.
What I've learned though is that talking about stuff is way better than not talking about it. Also poly teaches you something new every day, or at the very least has new ways of surprising you.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.