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Old 01-08-2014, 05:46 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
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Do you feel respected?
Do you feel heard?
Do you feel valued?

If the answer to any of these is "no," you've got a serious problem.

You don't have to agree to a polyamorous situation. You don't have to offer consent, and you don't have to put up with bullshit from an inconsiderate ass. He has endangered your health and taken advantage of your generosity.

If I were you, my locks would be changed and his clothing and toothbrush on the front step. He has utterly disrespected you, and that is no way to treat anyone. I would not take him back unless he dumps her and goes to therapy or counseling with you.

Oh, and get tested for STIs right away. Obviously, if you're not going to kick his ass out the door, no unprotected sex with him.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 01-08-2014 at 08:53 PM.
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