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Old 01-07-2014, 10:56 PM
bofish bofish is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 221
Default Send Advice PLEASE

I know we're not supposed to ask for advice in the blog section, but I don't want cloud up the advice section - and maybe I need to just write this out more than anything else.

I have been going back and forth for awhile trying to come to a resolution with someone I met a year and half ago. This person was married (and cheating). It was only my second poly relationship and it's no excuse I know, but I decided to become involfved with him. We had a brief sexual relationship and then continued in a somewhat emotional affair/friendship. Last summer, I got mad at him for continuing to look for women online. Not only was I jealous and hurt, but by this time, I felt solidly a friend and tried to approach it from an angle of this isn't good for you. Needless to say, it didn't go over well. I felt frustrated, angry, and jealous.

Since, then has been a process of trying to let go. I feel he is neither friend to me (isn't open and consistent) nor is he lover. I sometimes feel like I am "in love" with this man, and while he is special to me, I think it's more of a fixation, wanting what I can't have, trying to control things perhaps. I am definitely working through some abandonment issues with this person. This is getting too long, so I'll just to the 'adcie".

I have been trying to mourn this person. But he keeps coming back. He always emails. I have a hard time mourning him when he won't go away. I also have a hard, impossible time, ignoring him. I have blocked him, in all aspects, but he still emails. Now he wants to get together. The compulsion part desires to go - and I think I will. But he wants to get together tomorrow or Friday. I have plans tomorrow. I am sick of getting stuck in the emotion of waiting around for him. I am so frustrated with my own inability to be strong and ignore and reject him. What am I hoping to get out of this meeting? I am hoping that he will finally open up and we can be better friends. Maybe I'm hoping that seeing him will dispel some of the mythology and I will get over my pinning...

Has anyone been in this situation?
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