Wow man, this is brutal. I'm at work and can't give you an adequate response and honestly this type of situation blinds my logic and makes me respond emotionally which is never productive
Hopefully others will jump in with better advice....it will certainly be different than mine I can guarantee you that LOL! I just talked to Redpepper about this and she has a much more balanced approach with broader ideas to figure things out.
Stay healthy my friend...I can't stress that enough.
Take care and I'll check in later.