Thread: Just LR
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Old 01-07-2014, 02:07 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Pretty much Brigid. Great way of summing it up.
He never dated before either. He married his high school sweetheart, that was a dramatic nightmare disaster (drugs, cheating, child abuse).
He didn't date after. We already knew each other (10 years) and we got together a few months after they divorced.

When he started dating in our poly dynamic; he experienced more drama than any normal person should encounter. Some caused by his own bs. Some caused by his tendency towards being a "white knight". I'm really the odd ball in his life. Women in his life tend to be drug addicts (mom, stepmoms, stepsisters, exwife, several potentials) and financially destitute.
That he has a good solid job makes him an easy "target" in the bar scene for women who are on the prowl for a sugar daddy. He's NOT experienced enough to see through the "prowler" and the legitimately nice, well adjusted woman who is simply interested in getting to know him.

The other night, we were playing pool and by our behavior (it WAS our first date together in 6 months) there was no reason for anyone to believe either of us was available. We were much much too busy with each other to pay attention to anyone else.
It only took a few minutes for a woman there, who dated his (now in prison for drugs and armed robbery) ex-stepbrother; to recognize him. She was ALL OVER trying to "reconnect". She knows both of us, but only recognized him. (he does look damn near exactly the same as he did in high school and he has lived her his whole life). He was cringing.
She's a deadbeat, no job, can't take care of herself, drunk. Nice.

It's a bit.... stunning how quickly those types suck up to him.
He at least recognizes now that this is the case. They sense the "nice guy" who would "take care of them" which is definitely his personality (and his fathers-who looks JUST LIKE HIM and lived here HIS whole life as well, same damn name even).
But-he doesn't know how to get around it yet. Which is ok.

All of that really is arbitrary. My point in my blog was just to say how impressed I was with his conscious effort to consider what he wants, what he doesn't want and to plan on coordinating HIS behavior around avoiding what he doesn't want. That's a very new thing for him and I'm proud of him for taking a year to really consider what has gotten him into a mess before and educate himself on ways to avoid that.
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