Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
Oh dear, I don't think that your husband is respecting your wishes at all. You may have to give him an ultimatum or at least, decide if you can stand to just let him steamroll all over you. Think about it ... Is it better to leave him, or to suffer these kinds of incidents for the rest of your life? If the latter be the better then I suppose you should keep quiet about it when he's around. You can always turn to Polyamory.com as a place to vent of course. Perhaps that would make things easier.
Is there more I should know about the situation before I jump to any conclusions? I am just going by what is presented at the moment. What would cause your husband to act this way? Does he have a good excuse?
I can tell you what the most commonly followed course of action is in a situation like this. The wife would just continue doing the same thing, complaining to her husband but continuing to give in whenever he pushes. Then she'd just hope that he'd eventually see her point of view. Rinse and repeat, as the years roll by. If you choose this course of action, just make sure it's a course that you consciously choose.
If it were me, I'd give him a deadline by which he must get his act together. The deadline would be chosen according to how long I thought I could stand the situation before I had to leave. Then if the deadline arrived and nothing had noticeably improved, I'd pack my bags.
Have you any kids with him? That always makes a situation like this a lot more complicated.
You might want to refrain from having unprotected sex (perhaps even any sex at all) with him until you have good reason to be sure your health wouldn't be adversely affected by his unprotected sex with A.
I hope you'll be able to find the insights and perspectives you need here.
Kevin T., "official greeter"
There's a *lot*
of good info in Golden Nuggets
. Have a look!
Please read through the guidelines
if you haven't already.
Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods
if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.
If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.