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Old 01-06-2014, 12:49 AM
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fuchka fuchka is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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Nice option, SNeacail! I use that strategy too, though sometimes it seems much more convenient for everyone if I figure out some possible solutions first, for other people to choose from. Hmm. Perhaps I could scale back even further though! Something to think about for future similar situations.

I've had an immense few days in relationship land. Since New Year, really. (By the way, happy 2014, everyone!)

One notable event: Lobe drunkenly broke up with me on Friday night. Standing on the platform at midnight, waiting for a train home, he says: "I think we're done here. I'm sorry. I'm not cut out for this." It was the emotional equivalent of walking into a glass wall. Fucking hurts, in case you have the luck of not knowing this.

I couldn't properly talk with him about it at the time, because he was in a very fucked up mood. He feels things in quite a monogamous way, and his favourite way of communicating is in person, more touch than words, so long-distance non-monogamy is a somewhat nightmare scenario for him. I could tell he was speaking from a place of (totally justifiable!) fear, and also anger and resentment...

I also wasn't sure how much to take him at his word. Was the alcohol making him say things in a skewed way, out of perspective with the wider emotional context? Or was it facilitating him finally being able to say something he needed to say, something he meant to say, something I need to accept? I couldn't tell. (In the end, both were true in their own way.)

Anyway, this was one of the worst nights of my life. At the time I actually ran through nights that had been worse for me, than this, and I couldn't think of many. Maybe two or three. Damn. One reason it hurt so mcuh was related to another 'notable event', the previous night, which I will probably write about later.

Well.

By early morning, Lobe had sobered up, and we'd touched enough to start making sense of things. We had un-break-up sex. Then the rest of the weekend was good, though tender.

Ocean was a trooper, through it all.

Ocean & I back to the other city today. If you are losing track of where and who and what, don't worry... so am I More tales soon.
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