frustrated (super long)
My name is Samantha. Im mono,my husband of 11 years is poly.He met a girl a few years ago and fell in love with her.We will all her B. She liked him but couldnt allow herself to enter a relationship with him.He then met a girl (A) and became good friends with and they eventually fell in love. Before B told him she couldnt e with him,we set some guidelines, he needed to be completely honest about any relationships and we would discuss them.
Enter A. They withheld the relationship from me for atleast a month .Locks on his phone and secret texts things of that nature. I tried my best to understand that it was a hard thing to tell me. I tried to let go of the hurt i had because he wasnt honest with me. I knew he loved her,so i felt i had no choice but to let it continue.She lives in IN and we in VA so i didnt think much would come of it.
She invited him to FL to meet for the first time. at that point i set some ground rules. All i asked was no unprotected sex. That wasnt respected and i had a hard time with it.it was the only time he had ever been with anyone other than me. She was at the time involved with another married man and ended up pregnant...long story short she did not carry the pregnancy to term.
At that point i said i could not handle him being in another relationship because i wasnt comfortable with him having kids with her. He tried to convince me that it would all work out. we didnt even know if the baby was his. so i gave in.
He talked about goin back to see her and again i said no unprotected sex and this time no bite marks-its so trashy and i really dont want to have to explain to our young children what they re or where they came from,nor do i want the reminder.. While video chatting with him this morning i see a mark on his lip that wasnt there 2 days ago.so i ask what happened. he admits that she had in fact bitten him.but doesnt think i should feel disrespected by this.nor the fact that they didnt use a condom because i shouldnt ask those kinds of questions..
Do i have any right asking anything? am i wrong to want to be shown any respect as his wife? Neither of them seem to think so.
thank you so much for reading if you've gotten this far! and i apologize for spelling/grammar errors,the bottom keys on my keyboard are as tempremental as i am today