View Single Post
Old 01-04-2014, 04:05 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,783

Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
So, why does he do this?
Because he can?

As you know very well, dating doesn't often lead to an actual relationship, so it will take more than a few tries with several people for any dating to go that way, if that's what he wants. Since he hates the initial dating part, but is willing to go through that stuff, it would seem he is open to another relationship happening. However, it might not be that he has an urgent need for another partner, but simply enjoys the fact that he has the freedom to explore or pursue if he wants to. Probably keeps his OKC profile up just to see what it brings him. So, when an opportunity presents itself (herself, himself), maybe he just thinks, "why not see what happens?" He has that kind of free-spirit-open-to-possibility personality, right? Or maybe he gets bored easily and thrives when he has many varied relationships in his life to keep him occupied, stimulated, and entertained. And he knows he can't be with you all the time, or his wife, or miss pixi.

I would also say that, ironically, he probably feels secure enough in his relationships with his wife, you, and miss p, that he can look to see who else he might click with. If it were me in your situation, I would probably just want to make sure I am not taken for granted or expected not to have a reaction, though I don't think he would intentionally do that.

Have you ever just asked him point blank: "You have three women in your life now and don't enjoy dating, so why do you want more?"
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 01-04-2014 at 04:09 PM.
Reply With Quote