This year, Ginger had dated, or attempted to date, 3 people, and now there's a 4th! So, get this, he's married, he has me as a gf, he has miss p as a FWB (for lack of a better term), he's dated 2 women (one date with one, no sparks, 2-3 dates w a woman with herpes, who dumped him when he was unable to deal with dating a person with active lesions), tried to get together with a man (first time he tried to date a guy even tho he's always felt bi), but the guy "got lost" for both their dates and they never hooked up.
Now, he's got yet another woman on the line. They had one date, she acted lukewarm, she's newly divorced and on OKC. She is getting deluged with messages, she has 2 bfs already, and then she messaged Ginger. Greedy!
On their date she'd just come from an overnight with one of her bfs. She acted standoffish and shy and was not flirty. Ginger made it sound boring.
However somehow they've kept chatting online and trying to make a second date happen. So, now, a few wks after their first date, she's finally coming to his place to go xcountry skiing on his property... sigh. I am jealous again.
The guy has 3 women in his life already. Does he really need a 4th, for goodness sake? Apparently he does, or at least wants it. Why is it so hard for me to match my emotions to my rational understandings? Why can't I just think of this as Ginger doing a hobby, or having a friend, or a little adventure? Why do I feel so threatened? I know he won't dump me, I know he'll be with me soon and give me love and attention and bring me joy.
Ugh. I feel so stupid sometimes.
I asked him today if he is excited. He said, yes, and stupidly jumpy, and he "hates the initial stuff." In other words, he's not a NRE junkie. So, why does he do this?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 3 years