Originally Posted by Justiss
I am not someone capable of love, at least I think I can't. And the man involved isn't either, so the situation with the three of us is dealing with two people who are a little emotionally stunted in comparison to the wife, who has enough of that emotion for all of us. I didn't come into this wanting anything but a good time and a close relationship with people I can care about in a friendship way, or I should say I can give them all I can in ways I best know how, and they are doing the same, at least he is. His wife seems distant now, and she has that fetish for watching him have sex with me. I stopped this all because I don't want to cater to her insecurities and their ego on him being a great lover.
They are new to this, yes, but not. They are interested in threesomes and other women, but only because his wife is sexually timid and she want to get out of her shell. I am her first female lover, first threesome, first serious female crush. He is just a overly sexed creature period, as I am, so for the both of us this "threesome" and even chance at polyamory is not anything new. He would do whatever he can to have his cake and eat it too, I am the same way. I knew him before the wife, and they mentioned a threesome, and it happened, but there was no communication. It was during a messed up night of drugs and drinking, but I was not emotionally invested enough to see it as anything but a good time. It went from the one time thing to a they want it all the time thing, and I cut it off after feeling like I was being used. We still have contact with the other, no sex involved, but now they are fucking in front of me, and it seems like it is to try and teach me a lesson
Originally Posted by Justiss
Incapable in general.
I can't say what I really want out of this to be honest....well no, now that I think about it I would like some form of equal interaction with the three of us, but I am positive it is not possible with them.I can't say I am hurt, but I have a feeling the wife can get hurt in all of this. If I were to be hurt, it'd be my ego, but not so much my emotions (feelings).
Yeah, time to bow out and step away from sexual activity with them. I realize it may not hurt you to step away beyond perhaps your ego.
However, I do see the strong likelihood of her being hurt. It reads like she is an empathetic person who radiates emotions to her emotionally stunted male partner and now you. You are her first female sexual connection, first female crush. She does not sound experienced at all, and is insecure. Combined with a male partner who does what he wants to get what he wants - and the possibility that she will get badly emotionally burned goes up.
This kind of thing is hard when everyone is emotionally healthy and has a wealth of techniques to cope and grow. It does not read like you or he have that capability now, or possibly ever. (I hope this is not permanent.)
You do not seem to be getting much out of this. In fact, I wonder if you were drawn in because he or they felt you were unlikely to mind being used. At any rate, I suggest bowing out, not so much because you may be hurt, but because she is likely already hurting.
She's being distant to you and likely fucking in front of you to try and hurt you - yeah, that's a sure sign of being in pain. You can choose not to contribute to someone else's pain.
And you still deserve to have your needs met, be treated well and valued, even if love is not on the table. That is unlikely to happen here.