Gala - yes, it was mostly to vent, but also because I lack polyminded (and D/s) people to talk to... my mono-friends and family I talk to generally just don't get it (although they try), and sometimes it's just good to get an objective outside observers thoughts. Both you & willow have made some good points, which have been helpful in me trying to organize my thoughts.
To clarify a little bit...
This is a 24/7 D/s dynamic. He lives with his other, but I see him almost daily.
I do not want to be fully dependent, and am not fully dependent. Actually the only 'dependence' i have is with my sex life, as he's the only person I'm sexually active with.
I don't expect him to mind-read, and if I'm not being open, he's basically already told me that (unless I'm crying) he's not going to push me. So that's on me.
So with those thoughts, and a lot of the rest of your reply, does make me think about what I want, what I need, what I can accept, and how to go about connecting those dots with him, rather than just internalizing it, and taking it out on you all.
So... I'm going to mull this over a bit more, using y'alls notes as a reference.
Thank you, very much.