It's funny that you mention that.
I did give him a list, in July. I put one item per line on a sheet of paper and he tacked it to his wall.
The real problem is, that while he is very much service oriented, his job has taken all of his time. Meaning; no time to do anything. He knows it. HE feels like shit because HE isn't putting in any time DOING anything for me.
One of the things that I told him last night is that he needs to claim his choices. He has a million explanations for why this that or the other thing. But the bottom line is-it IS his choice.
Taking this job was his choice. We discussed it in depth before hand-and I told him then, what I saw as potential problems, starting with his difficulty in facing conflict and their demanding his time. He wanted to prove he could manage it. But-he cant. He admitted that yesterday, that he just can't manage it.
He was really twisted up inside because he realized that he was making excuses instead of making choices and claiming them. It makes a HUGE difference in how we can manage complications in life; whether we claim them as our own or we blame them on someone else.
He was putting all of the onus on others.
"they want.." "They said.." "they need". But he wasn't taking responsibility for "I want, I need, I choose".
Anyway-like I said, I don't know where it will go from here. He still has the same job. He still has to figure out if he's going to quit that job and do something else or he's going to put his foot down or he's going to keep going along as it's been.
I'm not going to alter my course without seeing actions. Words are just words. I've heard them before.
"Love As Thou Wilt"