Thread: Super Unsure
View Single Post
  #22  
Old 01-03-2014, 03:07 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 3,768
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NettleSparks8551 View Post
I am not in the slightest bit okay with them being a couple.
See, if you and your bf had a thing, and he had a thing with your friend, and you were cool with that, it would all be different. In this case, they are both trying to force you to have 3way SEX. If you're not sexually attracted to your female friend, and also very jealous seeing your bf and female friend together, either leave your bf, or learn to deal with him having a 2nd gf, ie: a V relationship, with you and female friends as the "arms" and your bf as the "hinge." In polyamory, V relationships are by far the most common and successful. Triads, where all 3 people have sexual/romantic relationships with each other, are extremely rare.

Quote:
It's led to me feeling very much on the outside of everything. I was much happier when it was just me and my boyfriend and that was it.
Your bf and the woman are in the infatuation stage, what we call new relationship energy, or NRE. It does go away over time, and you could ride it out, as long as your bf was being loving and respectful to you at the same time. BUT, he isn't. He's acting like a douche and you're not standing up for yourself. Until you do, he and your so-called friend will continue to pressure you.

Quote:
This is not to say that I wouldn't be open to something like this with someone in whom we had both developed an interest. However, this isn't the case.
This could happen to you at some point. Probably not with your bf and friend, however, since it's gotten off to a bad start.

Quote:
I do have another question: Is the purpose of a vee to transition into a triad or is it a standalone relationship in and of itself?
Stand alone relationship.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
Reply With Quote