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Old 01-03-2014, 01:47 AM
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BigGuy BigGuy is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: East Central Illinois
Posts: 118

If your BF is anything like me, my first inclination is to "fix" things.

It sounds like to me that he was trying to fix the situation. It has taken many conversations twith my wife and daughter for me to understand that sometimes they don't want things to be fixed. Many times they just want me to empathize. I can never figure out what they want from me, i. e. a solution or sympathetic ear, so often I have to ask. But that's only after many years of training.

If your BF is like me, he's going to be pretty dense about knowing what you're looking for in these types of conversations. You may have to explain it in simple terms that while you appreciate what he's trying to do when trying to cheer you up, but that cheering up isn't what you need. That what you need is someone to commiserate with you, to experience and validate your feelings. To let you feel what you're feeling without trying to fix them.

Be patient with him. It's hard to see someone you love go through turmoil. It's natural to want to do what you can to alleviate it. You may have to tell him many times that yiu don't want to be fixed, just to be heard.
Me: 48 - Married, straight, male
Shiela: My wife.
Suzanne: My FWB
Adam: Shiela's LDR
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