Just when you think everything is settled and in place something new happens. The past few days have been really rough. My boyfriend and his wife are going through some pretty serious stuff and there's nothing I can do but be supportive and wait out the process. At this point I have absolutely no idea what's going to happen from here and as usual change is a scary scary thing. I'd love to just fast forward through the process and get to a place of stability again. (Whatever that ends up looking like).
What I do know is that both of them are hugely important to me and I hate to see them hurting. I'm also not a fan of me hurting either (my poor husband has been dealing with the fun that is me for the past few days). I foresee a lot of emotional work to start out this year.
I'm also realizing that there's only so long I can allow myself to be in a holding pattern. So as hard as it is for me if there isn't any movement towards a resolution in about 6 weeks I'm going to have to back away emotionally. It's too hard on me emotionally to wonder what's going to happen. I'm not expecting everything to be resolved in that short a time I just need to know where I fit by then and what I can expect for my own relationship. Things would be so much easier if I could just remove expectations from the equation. It's really difficult just to let things evolve with no expectations.
I'm still really raw today which is why I'm posting here. When stuff is happening in your world but really isn't your stuff there's kind of a need to just carry on like everything is normal. It's not fair to everyone else to not carry on as though everything is normal.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.