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Old 04-05-2010, 11:47 PM
EugenePoet EugenePoet is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
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Not too long ago one of the GFs of my lady love's husband decided that because she was really in love that she would be moving in with them.

I was on the outside of these events but I talked about it with the wife during some of our dates -- it was an ongoing topic for a few weeks. It seems that the GF had constructed her own version of the relationship based on what she wanted, and not so much on things as they really existed.

That's not uncommon, right? We seldom know everything about a situation, and we all fill in information that we're missing by intuition and guesswork. And we're likely to do it with a certain amount of unconscious personal bias.

So to defuse those faulty assumptions someone had to tell the GF: No, you are not marrying into the couple and moving into our home. That is not and never was one of the possibilities.

KatTails, it sounds like your husbands GF may have made some assumptions that need to be corrected.

The couple I'm involved with has kept their polyamory secret from their family, and my lady love explained that very clearly during our courtship. KatTails, I suspect that someone is going to need to have a similar frank talk with your husbands GF. It's absolutely your call as a couple as to what you reveal to whom, and when. It doesn't matter how other couples do it, except as possible examples: what matters is what you and your husband decide.

When it comes to you and your family, she needs to abide by the boundaries you guys set. Somebody needs to talk to her and help her understand that.

Last edited by EugenePoet; 04-05-2010 at 11:57 PM.
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