Thank you for sharing your insights. While your Pagan path and her's differ by tradition - she is closest with Freya who is also fertility oriented. Your description of divine immanence was helpful to me as is your association of spiritual and sexual experiences being potentially powerful and primal, especially wehn combined.
Is seeking a Paganish lover for the reasons you mentionedaside from your husband a difficulty in your relationship? How have you approched the subject?